I miss crying

I have become so traumatized by this that I can’t even cry anymore.

I miss crying and getting a hug from my husband or son and feeling better.

I miss calling my mom or dad or friend and having them ease my fears.

I miss having health anxiety and going to the doctor and it being something simple and I’m fine a week later.

I miss taking meds without worrying what it will do to me.

I miss being able to be comforted or relaxed. I have none of that now.

I miss watching movies with my dad and playing video games with my husband and singing to my son.

My mild stable tinnitus completely changed 1 month ago. It moved from one ear to both, developed like 6 new tones and became reactive. I also developed hyperacusis. I get pain and pressure around my ears constantly so likely noxacusis too. I can’t be around my son or husband. Can’t watch videos or play games or listen to music.

I just wish I would have appreciated my old life. I don’t see any future for me.