New to Magic: Been Struggling

I'm new to Magic The Gathering, I've only been playing for about a month—and I’ve been trying to play Mothman as my commander. I’m really drawn to the Fallout theme, which naturally pulled me into the complex world of Magic.

So far, my experience has been a mix of good and bad. I’ve experimented with different versions of the Mothman deck because my friends, who have been playing for over ten years, are helping me improve it. Their goal is to make Mothman stronger so that I could eventually win a game. Unfortunately, I haven’t won yet; I’m playing against opponents (friends) with decks that can create tons of tokens or cast overwhelming spells or just have cards I truly don't understand, it almost looks like they are throwing up cards on their playmat by the volume of what they are producing. Often, I feel confused and lack the tools to counter their strategies. It feels like I’m a shrimp in a tank full of sharks just trying to survive.

Recently, I received a message from my friends expressing their frustration with my Mothman deck. They complained about the rads and the milling process, and this escalated into a significant issue. This isn't the first time an argument has arose either so it feels like whenever I express my opinions on things, everyone just jumps on my throat haha I'm just trying to LEARN! Now, I’m feeling somewhat discouraged about whether I want to continue playing Magic. I enjoy the game and want to improve, but experiences like this make me intimidated about meeting new people and playing with them. I would hate to face the same reaction outside my friend group. They ultimately want me to sit Mothman out and try other decks, but its like, I haven't won a game and you all have won, so I don't understand the complaint really?

Additionally, I’ve heard from former Magic players that the game can become "toxic," and that people can sometimes be aggressive during games. Is this true? I’m already sensing a lot of aggression from my friends, and I can’t imagine what it would be like with others.