Dad's is horrible and I feel just like him

I was listening to some music and it made me think of me and my dad when i was younger. How i never had a voice and how he was always mad no matter what was going on, and then would joke about it. How i was never able to hang out with him, but when i could we would never do anything i wanted to. All he ever though about was himself. I now feel like i am starting to become him. I have the worst thoughts in life these last 2 years and they wont go away. I have a boyfriend I love very much, but idk what to do or what will help.

P.S miss spell for Dad