So what now?

By now, everyone has learned Donald Trump won the election. Last night I was nervous about the results and planned not to look at the news to process. Though I accidentally learn the results through YouTube.

On the Spanish news I keep hearing "the American people have spoken"

Did they really? I look at the graph and am baffled by how much red there is on the map. When I look at the people around me, they have the most stressing looks on their faces.

The only one I know who is proud is my mother, but she is literally a Latin immigrant. The irony. Smiling at me about how Kamla lost. I feel like I am being mocked.

I am in the south to put the bow on top. I can't move. I don't have the financial to move. I also have my younger siblings to worry about and care for. I am put on the bc pills because of a menustral disorder. I can't imagine that being taken away from me, leaving me back in pain, weak, and unable to eat.

I don't know how I feel about this. How the next following years would be. Part of me was already dismayed when the first election polls were coming out. When he was taking the lead I already felt defeated but still held tiny bit of hope.

This morning, I feel like I shouldn't be surprised. That it was all expected. But I am still shocked. I am trying to put the results to the side to process but I can only hear my parent going on about how glad she is about the results.

Should I be proud that we at least fought with hope? Should I comfort myself that the red majority were manipulated? Or am I just comforting myself because those people genuinely don't care and proudly ignorant. Too stubborn to realize the mass effect.

I'm embarrassed and don't know how I would be this term.

Anyway, I am not sure what I would do in this timeline. What I do know Donald won with hate and bigotry. Benefiting of the proud ignorance and hate of many. He is not the first man in history to do that. Minorities have existed centuries before us under the same or worse circumstances. It is also not the first time citizens are done wrong by their government.

I am dismayed and terrified but I want to hold on to hope. Because I don't, how else am I suppose to cope and feel the energy to resist such bigotry.