How I transformed my social skills and resilience
A few years ago, I realized something: I wasn’t great at meeting new people. Whether it was talking to strangers at events, making new friends, or just starting a conversation with someone interesting, I always felt a little awkward. It wasn’t that I was anti-social - I just didn’t have the skills.
And if I’m being honest, part of me was afraid. What if they weren’t interested in talking? What if I got a weird look or a cold response?
So I did something extreme - I started pushing myself to talk to people everywhere. Not just at events or networking meetups, but on the street, in coffee shops, at bookstores. If someone seemed interesting, I challenged myself to say something.
At first, it was brutal. Some people were polite but clearly uninterested. Others gave short answers and moved on. And yeah, a few times, I got completely ignored.
It would’ve been easy to quit. And I almost did. But something told me to keep going.
What I Learned from Hundreds of Conversations
The more I did it, the more I realized that most people are open to conversation - if you approach them the right way.
I also realized why most people never even try:
- Fear of rejection - No one likes being ignored or brushed off.
- Social norms - We’re taught not to talk to strangers.
- Ego - It’s easier to pretend we don’t care than to risk looking foolish.
But once I stopped caring so much about how I was perceived and focused more on just connecting, things changed.
The Unexpected Benefit: Resilience
Something weird happened after months of doing this. I started noticing a change - not just in my ability to meet people, but in how I handled life in general.
Suddenly, a failed job interview didn’t feel like a big deal. An awkward social situation didn’t shake me. I had been rejected, ignored, and dismissed so many times that my brain just stopped registering it as a bad thing.
I realized that most people never build this kind of resilience. They avoid discomfort at all costs. But the truth is, learning how to connect with people - even when it’s hard - makes you mentally unbreakable.
Why It’s Worth It
Looking back, I’m grateful I stuck with it. The people I’ve met, the confidence I’ve built, and the ability to walk into any situation and hold my own - it’s been life-changing.
Most people avoid the discomfort of meeting new people because it’s hard. But the ones who push through? They become the kind of people who thrive in any social situation.
So if you ever feel like your social skills aren’t where you want them to be, or if the idea of talking to new people makes you nervous - good. Lean into it. Push through it. Because once you do, you’ll realize that most of the limits you thought were real were never actually there.