My Experience of looking young as a guy

My Experience of looking young as a guy

Growing up I never really thought of the effects that looking much younger than my actual age had on me, not until high school and much more after. In this writing I will give my experience in brief detail to understand or maybe even relate to my experiences and thoughts. For some context I will let you know a little about who I was growing up. As many kids were in elementary school, I was shy, awkward, and lacked much needed confidence. I sheltered myself, very introverted, and felt bad for myself for lacking those social skills. This was a common theme that remained throughout my life up until now, most of the reasoning for that, I believe derived from how I viewed myself physically and mentally. I was always much smaller both height and mass wise then all my other classmates. The negativity that flowed through my head daily and that remains has shaped me into who I am today. But things have indeed changed as I am now 24 and have had many experiences that I never thought I would have both lived through and had to deal with.

I am 24 and I look, I would say around 17 and up, some could even argue that I look younger but that’s all up to perspective. Starting in high school I was normally the smallest, both height and mass. I, like a lot of people in my shoes that have sadness and feelings of depression made the mistake of surrounding myself with the wrong friend group. People that didn’t appreciate the kindness I brought, but instead would just laugh at and bring down for the sake of their own gain and insecurities that they might have had. I made the mistake of going along with it, because of my own mental instability I felt weak to any form of confrontation. This all came from the fact that because of my looks I was never taken as serious as I wanted to be, even in my own family. Even to this day I don’t grow facial hair either and that alone can help the issue greatly.

Moving from high school to college the issue was even more prominent as I started pushing myself into the dating space. I quickly found out that my speculation of people sub-conscientiously not taking me seriously is very much true, especially when it came to dating and maturity.

Let’s start with talking about the effects that looking young has had on maturity. I believe that I am a fairly mature person, I value myself on my work ethics, knowing good from wrong, and hard work in everyday life. In college I had to push myself, as I was moved out from my home town and from the confines of a small town to the city. Soon after I moved out and incorporated myself into the college life, I noticed how I was treated by people around me. I was always told what to do, babied even though in some areas I knew more then them. I was seen as this “cute and innocent” thing, something to be protected. If I ever stood my ground to someone mean, then everyone would be shocked. People seeing me differently from who I am happened on the daily, never taken seriously in any situation, I had to work really hard to fight for that kind of “adult” respect which even now I don’t think I have ever gotten, even within my own family. When I was speaking to someone I could easily tell from their facial reactions and body language that they weren’t taking me serious. I could care less about being ID’ed all the time but when I am constantly told that I cant handle something because I am under 18 that hurts. The worst time was at Comic Con, I was 22 and with my girlfriend at the time, and I was holding a knife that I was interested in, the guy behind the counter quickly got upset and told me I can touch it or buy it because I was under 18, that alone ruined my whole day as my girlfriend just laughed at me, not understanding how that makes me feel as a man. Another time was in a furniture store on a week day, I was in there with my little sisters looking for a couch to purchase. I was quickly approached and asked to leave as people under 17 weren’t allowed to be in there, they probably lost a sale.

I was in college for 6 years and just recently finished, throughout those 6 years my dating life hasn’t been the best, it has been riddled with heartbreak. Most recent heartbreak was a little over a mouth ago, an almost 4-year relationship just gone in a fraction of a second. Like I said, I am 24, with a baby face. Since the shattering moment previously mentioned I have noticed some new effects that looking much younger then my age has on my dating life. It is proven that the majority of females prefer a mature looking man, tall, maybe some facial hair, and a defined mature facial structure. None of which I have.

Going up to women is hard for all of us guys out their, we all know that, but looking this young presents another obstacle aside from the fear of embarrassment and rejection. An example happened just the other day, I saw a woman around my age of maybe 20 – 26 and after some thought I decided to go up to her. She instantly thought I was a younger teenager; said I was too young for her. I could have corrected her and said I was 24 but to avoid further embarrassment I just said sorry and left. This alone has always been a problem. On dating websites too this is a huge issue. I am not unattractive, and I know that, but having a baby face on a profile that says I’m 24 is something no one swipes on. In my defense when I was 19 and 20 my dating life on dating applications such as Tinder was amazing, but now that I am 24 the environment has dramatically changed. I can’t go up to girls in public because of it, I see myself as a confident individual but when it comes to this, I can’t bring myself to face that fear.

Don’t get me wrong though, looking young can have it’s perks. My parents are almost in their 60’s and look like they are in their 40’s and that is going to be amazing as in my 20’s it is horrible. Everyone compliments me on looking young (mostly the barber), but no one see’s the depression and anxiety that it has ultimately had a hand in creating. The biggest issue for me at this point of my life is the effect that looking young has had on that dating life, dating apps don’t work anymore and meeting people in person has become nearly impossible. I could tell myself to just wait but how long can I actually wait as I will always look young, cannot wait until my 30’s to feel loved and wanted again. Reading online no one really has a solution to this, I have seen 2 main ones only, work out a lot, and have facial hair. Can’t do the facial hair one but maybe the 1st will help, it’s going to be a hard and lonely journey, but I believe in myself and my abilities to work hard towards what I want. Thank you for reading and for anyone in the same boat as me, I along with many others are here with you.