How to stop drunk texting an ex?

Sober me knows it’s not a good but once I have a drop of alcohol in me, I can’t control myself 🤦🏼‍♀️ - what do I do?. I deleted his contact but I have his number memorized fml. I cannot bring myself to block him.

Sober me knows it’s not a good idea to reach out to my “ex”. It wasn’t an official relationship but we were dating for many months. I’m the one who ended things with him because as much as I really like him, the relationship wasn’t going anywhere & I told him I was getting too attached & he never tried to stop me or try making it into a real relationship. The whole time we were seeing each other, he was kind, respectful, lots of effort into nice dates, and we had a lot of fun memories so it was a hard decision. We stopped talking for almost 3 months until I got really drunk & messaged him & saw him & ended up staying over (didn’t hookup that time because I was too drunk). Then a few times after that I had a bit of wine with friends & then called & went over & slept there.

I feel stupid because we used to have nice romantic dates and it felt really nice and cute. Now, I’m the one who ended it & now it’s just reduced to just a drunk booty call (my own fault, not his). I found out he’s not seriously dating anyone but he has had a couple booty calls. I don’t know to what extent and if he’s actually dating any of those women or if they truly just are booty calls. Either way, I feel icky being reduced to just a booty call and knowing he’s sleeping with a few women.

I’m mostly just mad at myself because it’s my own fault. How do I prevent this? Do I just need to stay sober for a few months until I’m a little more over it 😂? I feel so stupid. Sober me KNOWS I shouldn’t and I don’t even want too. Drunk me is an animal that can’t be stopped (with him). I miss him so much. I really don’t want to let go. But I know I have to. I’m just making myself look bad and reducing his value of me.