Sexual Assault at KitKat Club – March 23rd, 7:25 AM

I’m sharing this because my partner and I are deeply hurt and disappointed by how this situation was handled. We also want to make sure others are aware of what happened and can take precautions.

At around 7:25 AM, my partner and I were at KitKat Club. We were on a mattress in an open area, engaging with each other, when a man suddenly came from behind my partner and grabbed her breast. There was no consent, no interaction before this, just a complete violation of her body.

We immediately got up and confronted him, telling him that what he did was assault and absolutely forbidden in the club. Shouting at him repeatedly to leave we we're able to move him toward the exit. As we moved through the I club was yelling for help repeatedly, but despite people noticing, no one intervened. At one point the man tried to flee into the bathroom, thankfully one community member heard me yelling "stop him!" and pushed him out.

When we reached the security guards, three of them were leaning against a railing. I told them that we needed help, that the man had just assaulted my partner, and that we expected them to take it seriously. Instead of responding with urgency, they dismissed it. They said something along the lines of, “Oh, a man sees a young sexy couple, of course he’s going to do something.” It was clear that they saw this as a minor incident. They told us the man would receive a one-year Hausverbot, and he was allowed to leave on his own accord.

I kept pushing, saying this was not enough. A one-year ban does nothing to address what happened, nor does it ensure that my partner or anyone else in the club is safe. I asked them for support, but they said they had done what they were going to do and we could go collect our jackets.

At the coat check, my partner broke down crying. The shock of what had happened, combined with the complete lack of support, was overwhelming. I told the woman working at the coat check that the club has a real problem with safety to which she replied that she was sorry but that "shit happens". It really saddened me to hear that a woman working in a sex-positive environment would endorse rape culture so non-chalantly.

At that point another one of the coat check worker noticed and asked what was wrong. After I explained, she tried to advocate for us with security, she led us back to speak with the security guards face-to-face. This is where things escalated. We were in shock and distressed, trying to explain that KitKat Club has policies against this behavior and claims to take it seriously. The guards, however, saw us as overreacting. They started yelling at us, demanding, “Did you ask us to call the police initially or not? Yes or no?” They were aggressive and dismissive, completely ignoring the fact that we were trying to process a traumatic event.

My partner, desperate to get them to understand, asked one of them, “What would you do if this happened to your sister, your daughter, or your wife?”

His response? “Don’t give me that bullshit!". Got super enraged and yelled at us "enough Hausverbot for life!".

It was clear they did not care. They embodied a toxic, macho culture. 3 older men yelling at a young woman who had just been assaulted. The survivor of an assault punished simply for demanding safety.

Back at the coat check once again, the worker who had first been helping me gave me our coats. I was shaking and struggling with the zipper and then started crying. I guess seeing a grown man cry triggered something in her (sad it was the only way to make them realize the severity of the situation) but she extended her arm and said sorry. The coatcheck workers went back to security to try again without us this time. When she came back she returned with a different message. The security guards were now saying they found the perpetrator outside and would call the police.

One of the guards, perhaps realizing how badly they had handled everything, came to us while we were sitting and crying among other guests in the coat room. He offered us water and took us to a separate room to sit. He apologized, and we also apologized for how things had escalated, explaining that all we ever wanted was help and safety.

We waited about ten minutes before two police officers arrived. Unfortunately, they also failed to handle the situation with the care it required. They did not introduce themselves, did not ask for our names until they needed our IDs, and made awkward jokes about our names. When one of the officers referred to the assailant as an “just an idiot,” I had to correct him. I told him that the man was a perpetrator, that there was no excuse for sexual assault and just because we're in a sex positive place the law doesn't change. in fact the rules of consent are plastered on nearly every wall.

To be fair, the police did do the logistical part of their job. We identified the perpetrator, and they took him in their car to the station. They explained that he would have to pay a fee for the police car, spend the day at the station while they took fingerprints, and that prosecution would happen later through the state attorney. They also said that there was a chance he might just be fined and let go, but that it was possible he would face jail time.

So ultimately we are left with a bitter taste. In a progressive city that claims to value women’s rights, in a club that broadcasts a message of consent and zero tolerance for the violation of it, with the people who's primary responsibility is to support those under threat and hold predators accountable, there was no safety to be found.

KitKat Club claims to be a space that prioritizes consent, yet when an assault happened in a public area, security dismissed it and protected the club’s reputation over the safety of its guests. They minimized our experience, silenced us when we pushed back, and ultimately punished us for speaking out.

If you go to KitKat, be aware of this. Be aware that while the rules of consent exist on paper, they are not enforced the way they should be. If something happens, you may not get the support you need. The community itself seemed apathetic, ignoring us when we repeatedly asked for help and initially minimizing the assault when we described it.

Coming for another country/metro city that really doesn't mess around with this kind of behaviour and actively marginalizes and shuts fckng down normalization of rape culture, I feel sad for berliners. I'm sure KitKat isnt representative of all of berlin sex positive spaces and communities, but still, you folks need to do better and deserve better for yourselves as well.

To anyone who has experienced something similar, we see you. You deserve safety, respect, and justice. take care.