I emotionally cheated on my boyfriend

We’ve been together 2 years. And it really has not been a fun two years. On paper we are extremely compatible but behind closed doors he can be cruel.

He’s made fun of my appearance, friends, abilities, body, sexual capabilities and the list goes on and on. I’ve been made to feel like I’m less than for so long.

I reconnected with an old friend. And it didn’t start as anything, and never turned into anything. And to be completely honest, I think it was just a crush from my side and no feelings involved from him. But I let myself indulge of the fantasy of being with someone who could love me. I think it was because I trusted him, unlike almost everyone else, and so the emotional attachment was easy to form.

I stopped talking to him a couple days after I realized this. But I still think about him. I feel guilty because even though it’s not physically cheating, it’s still cheating in a sense.

I’m going to leave this relationship but I still feel guilty for this.