I Love Menthol Cigarettes

What greater joy has God bestowed on man
Than menthol cigarettes on wintry nights
What tyrant could enforce so cruel a ban
Infringing on the holiest of rights

What more oppressive rule could one enact
Than banning those sweet harbingers of joy
The origins of patience and of tact
Without which I’m a man one must avoid

Alas! The state’s long arm grabs at my smokes
My Newports pilfered from my very lips
And with them goes the highest of my hopes
For liberty, on which this campus spits

Although it ranks among the school’s great sins
I guess I’ll toss the cigs and switch to zyns