Just wanted to say I passed my Defense!

Wanted to share that I passed my defense. Honestly, I thought I would cry or feel a sense of relief, but weirdly I feel sort of angry or annoyed like I felt cheated by the anticlimactic end.

My boss even forgot to say congratulations before she caught herself and told me like an after thought. Felt kind of sad and then got mad, weirdly.

All in all, I am happy that I passed. I definitely need revisions but am kind of sad too.

I am probably not making any sense, but thanks for reading! :)

Edit, May 25, 2021 update:

Holy crap. Thank you everyone for all of the support. I am glad to know that this is a pretty common feeling. I definitely got mad and then sad and then just sort of resigned and after a night of some sleep, I feel a bit better. Still annoyed, but better.

The strangest thing was after it was all over, I realized how abused and used I felt in grad school, like everything just caught up. (I had the most absent PI), which probably contributed to the sudden flare of anger.

To those who are going through it right now, keep going, but note that your feelings of frustration, imposter syndrome, anger, and just dejection overall are completely valid and that you aren't alone. No one said embarking on this was easy and I want to thank everybody for their congratulations.

Thank you.