The Silent Epidemic of Men Pretending They Don’t Want Love

I had a student from Eastern Europe who reached out to me because he wanted to improve his dating life. He was in his late 30s, and when I asked what he had been doing in this area before, he told me something interesting.

He said that for the last six months, he had been actively working on his dating life. But before that? For 14 years, he did absolutely nothing.

I was like, “What do you mean?”

He explained, “Well, I was just working. Playing computer games. Riding my motorcycle. Doing a lot of sports. I had hobbies, I was staying busy… but I wasn’t dating at all.”

So I asked, “Why? Did you not feel lonely?”

And he said, “I was kind of fine.”

Then I asked, “Okay, so what changed?”

That’s when he told me about a girl he met. They hit it off, had an amazing six-month relationship, and then she broke up with him. That’s when everything changed. Suddenly, he felt super lonely. He realized that he had been missing something for a long time, but just never noticed it before.

So he tried going back to his old hobbies - motorcycles, gaming, fitness - but none of it satisfied him anymore. That’s when it clicked for him: he needed to work on this.

And honestly, I’ve heard so many versions of this same story.

A lot of guys suppress their feelings so much that they convince themselves they don’t even exist. They genuinely believe they don’t need to date, they don’t need romantic connections. But then - one experience comes along and completely shatters that illusion.

Because that desire was always there. It was just buried so deep that they didn’t recognize it.

And once it resurfaces? There’s no stuffing it back down.

This is why I make these posts - because if you’re reading this and you’re telling yourself, “I don’t really feel the need to date. I’m fine being single. I’m fine just focusing on my hobbies.”

You need to ask yourself: Is that actually true?

Or have you just suppressed it so much that you don’t even recognize it anymore?

Because the danger is, it is most likely there. If you’re a man, if you’re a human being, it’s probably there. And at some point, whether it’s months or years down the line, something is going to awaken that feeling.

And when it does, you’re going to look back and realize:

“Damn. It was there all along. I just pretended it wasn’t. And now I’ve wasted all this time.”

That’s exactly what happened to this guy. Once he experienced what it was like to be with someone, he couldn’t go back.

He tried riding his motorcycle again, but now he thought, “This would be better if I had someone with me.” He went on hikes and felt, “I want to share this with someone.” And ultimately, he wanted a relationship. A family. Kids.

Suppressing those feelings is a dangerous game to play.

So be honest with yourself. If you think the desire for a romantic connection isn’t there, ask yourself:

Is it actually not there? Or are you just pretending?

And if you’re pretending… what are you going to do about it?

Because a lot of guys suppress it simply because they think they can’t have it. They convince themselves they don’t want it, just to avoid the pain of wanting something they believe is out of reach.

But the truth is, you can have it.

You can have the romantic connections you want. And that’s exactly why my channel exists - because every guy, if he puts in the right effort, follows the right strategy, and takes action, can develop the social skills, the confidence, and the flirting ability to create the dating life he dreams of.