Afraid You’ll Never Improve With Women? Read This.

So I recently spoke to a guy, and he said to me, "Look, I think I want to do this. I think I need to start meeting women in real life and start taking some action in this area. But... I don’t know if I’m good-looking enough. I don’t know if I have the skills. And ultimately, what if this doesn’t work out? What if I try and it just doesn’t happen for me?"

And this is really interesting because I hear this all the time. A lot of guys have the same doubts. So in this video, I want to talk about this specific mindset - the fear of "What if it doesn’t work out?" - and why that’s actually not what you should be worrying about.

The key principle for improving in life is simple: focus on what you can control. The problem is, most guys worry too much about things they can’t control and not enough about the things they actually can. Worrying about whether or not this will work out? That’s something you can’t control. And the real issue with that worry is that it paralyzes you. You start thinking, "Well, I don’t think this is going to work anyway, so I might as well not even try." And that right there is the real failure.

And as brutal as this might sound, if someone gives into their fears and refuses to try, that’s cowardice. On the other hand, if someone genuinely gives it their all and still fails, that’s completely fine. There’s no shame in that. What matters is that you tried.

Now, I want you to imagine yourself at 80 or 90 years old, looking back on your life. Right now, maybe you’re 20, 30, or 40 years old. If you go all in - if you dedicate yourself to improving this area of your life, commit all your free time, seek help, build your conversation skills, develop confidence, take action, talk to women, get embarrassed, learn from mistakes, wake up and do it again - if you do all that and still fail (which, by the way, is highly unlikely), you will at least know you did everything in your power. You’ll have no regrets. You’ll be able to say, "I gave it my all. It didn’t work, but I tried everything." And you’ll feel at peace with that.

But you know what’s actually going to haunt you when you’re older? The regret of not trying. The regret of knowing you should have done something but didn’t. That feeling is far worse than rejection or failure. Even when you do get rejected in the beginning, you’ll still feel better than if you had done nothing because at least you’re taking action. The real pain comes from knowing you’re just coasting, half-assing it, not fully committing. That’s when you feel like you’ve let yourself down.

So don’t worry about whether or not you’ll fail. Worry about whether or not you’re taking 100% committed action. Because here’s the truth: if you’re genuinely putting in the work - taking action, seeking feedback, improving, getting guidance - there’s no way you’ll fail. And even if, hypothetically, you did, you’d still be fine because you wouldn’t be carrying the weight of regret.

I’ve coached dozens of guys, and I’ve seen it firsthand. The ones who take massive action, who constantly seek feedback, who show up and ask, "Hey, I did 10 approaches today, can you help me improve?" - those guys always succeed. It doesn’t matter what they look like, how tall they are, or where they’re from. The ones who make excuses and hesitate? They fail. Every time.

So ask yourself this: are you truly taking 100% action? Are you putting in your best effort? Because if you are, you’re going to make it. And even if, in some wild scenario, you didn’t, you’d still be okay - because you wouldn’t have regrets. But if you sit on the sidelines, knowing deep down that you should be taking action but choosing not to, that’s when you’ll regret it the most.

So stop worrying about whether or not it’ll work out. Just take action.