How do you make the best Bard?

I would appreciate any tips on my new playthrough! I am making a Drow College of Lore Bard, not the most proficient subclass but it fits the "scholarly poet" vibe I'm going for. If you have any good suggestions regarding good Bard armor, dope Bard clothes, effective cantrips, and badass spells, please put them below.

Also, is there any sarcastic or hilarious dialogue options in this game? Either this game is hiding most of the funny dialogue options for me or there isn't any. The only funny dialogue option I have found was when you encounter the female ogre and bugbear going at it. If so, what is the funniest dialogue option you've encountered?